March 2012
missvoltairine:
I hope Rick Santorum cuts himself shaving tomorrow. I hope it bleeds all day long.
hazelshade:
I hope Rick Santorum goes to drink the last sip of ice tea and all the ice falls on his face.
southinthewinter:
I hope Rick Santorum’s mom takes him to the grocery store and then leaves him at checkout to go get something else and she’s not back before the cashier’s done scanning all the stuff.
gotquirks:
I hope Rick Santorum leaves the bathroom with his skirt stuck in his tights.
crabby-cakess:
I hope Rick Santorum pulls up to the wrong side of the gas pump at a busy station and has to execute an awkward 6-point turn while angry customers curse him.
I hope Rick Santorum's car starts making a funny...
stfuconservatives:
but only when he’s the only one around to hear it.
-Joe
face-down-asgard-up:
I hope Rick Santorum goes out to eat and the waiter tells him to enjoy his meal and he says, “You too.” without thinking
Police officer punches rape victim in the face and... →
"I can’t believe I burned down a tree older then... →
plocool:
motherjones:
26-year-old Sarah Barnes’s alleged response to allegedly burning down the fifth oldest tree in the world—a 3,500-year-old, 118-foot-tall bald cypress—while (allegedly) on meth. Barnes is allegedly from Florida.
Reminds me of this Radiolab story.
February 2012
0 posts
WE LOVE YOU, NATALIE.
yourwarmingsmile:
I WANNA F**K YOU, TOO.
“If I wanted the government in my womb, I’d fuck a senator.”
– Senator Judy Eason McIntyre; Tulsa, OK (via supcakes)
“Danica Patrick is such a.. pretty girl. She makes a lot of money and...”
–
Fox 5 news anchor Ross Shimabuku, on Danica Patrick’s question to a report about why female athletes must always be described as “sexy,” and imploring him for another word to describe her.
Shimabuku was suspended today for a week without pay for his comments after he apologized… by admitting...
Hello, new friends!
I gained a significant amount of followers, and followed my fair share of new tumblrs today. I just wanted to let those of you who I have not been able to personally contact know that although I am following you on this account, my primary, I do have a secondary account that has a much stronger focus on my diet, fitness, and health. You can find and follow me over at shapelycakes.tumblr.com.
...
ewrecktion:
STACEY’S MOM has got it going on
Stacey’s mom is getting arrested for statuatory rape
Stacey’s dad is filing for divorce
Stacey is struggling with depression
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
